This Is Your Time
by Rainchild
Summary: Neville-centric. A boy fighting against himself learns that everything was already there to start with.


**Title:** This Is Your Time 

**Author name:** Rainchild 

**Author email:** rainchild_ai@yahoo.com 

**Category:** Drama/Angst 

**Rating**: PG-13 

**Summary:** Neville-centric. A boy fighting against himself learns that everything was already there to start with. 

**Author's Notes:** Hope you enjoy. Feel free to AIM me (FawkesTheFenix), email me (rainchild_ai@yahoo.com), or take a peek at my livejournal (http://www.livejournal.com/users/rainchild_ai). If you LJ friend me, I'll friend you. :) 

**DISCLAIMER:** Contrary to popular belief, I am not JK Rowling in disguise. I do not own Harry Potter, his world, or any of the character therein. They all belong to JK Rowling and various publishing/movie-making companies. Go JKR! (as long as she gets the next book out soon) The Hat Song is directly from _The Philosopher's Stone_. I also do not own the song _This Is Your Time_ by Michael W. Smith, from which I stole the title and the following lyrics. 

  


~*^*~ __

This is your time. 

This is your dance. 

Live every moment. 

Leave nothing to chance. 

Swim in the sea. 

Drink of the deep. 

Embrace the mystery of all you can be. 

~*^*~   


    Neville Longbottom spent the entire summer in anticipation of this day. But now, he was a bit... nervous. Sure, he was (surprisingly) living up to his family name, and it turned out he _wasn't_ an absolute squib, but truth-be-told, he'd... never actually been away from home. As Neville glanced from his grandmother (looking rather pleased, for once) to the brick wall of Platform Nine and Three Quarters, he made up his mind - he _could_ do this. Other kids were saying their final goodbyes as they departed for the new school year, so Neville could too. He would make his parents proud. With that thought Neville turned to face the wall and began his first steps of his new life - 

    At least, until he tripped on the forgotten trunk at his feet. A sheepish glance over his shoulder at his grandmother while picking himself up and Neville was off again, without turning _completely_ beat-red.  


~*^*~  


    There seemed to be an awful lot of students on the train-platform, for such a small school. Still, he gathered up his courage and walked onward, trying not to fidget _too_ much. Then the realization struck him - aside from a few family friends in the higher years, no one knew him here. No one knew he was a clumsy, forgetful, friend-less, half-squib who cried every Sunday when he visited his parents at the hospital. No mocking boys, showing off their perfected magical skills. No patronizing adults pinching his cheeks and cooing. With a new sense of meaning, Neville stood up tall - or at least, a little less hunched over than before - and boarded the train, ready to make some new friends.   


~*^*~  


    Neville stopped at the first open train compartment and stepped inside. Those inside looked to be first years. Neville contemplated the possibility that some of them might be his future roommates. The thought made him jittery. Neville sat down in the only empty seat, across from two rather large boys. Mig_ht not be first years after all._ Neville stuck out his hand first to the boy seated next to him. 

    "Hello, I'm Neville L-L-Longbottom," he managed to get out, grinning widely because he had managed to stutter only once during the whole introduction. Instead of taking his hand, though, the boy narrowed his eyes and began scrutinizing Neville. It took all of Neville's willpower not to squirm as the piercing gaze passed over him. 

    Finally, "I don't recall inviting you to join us, Wide-Bottom." 

    "Well, um... I j-j-just thought , ya know, I th-th-thought-" 

    "Obviously you weren't thinking," the boy snapped back. 

    "And, a-a-actually, that's not r-r-really my na-" 

    "Nevermind that," the boy interrupted, his frown turning to a grin. Neville let out an audible sigh of relief. 

    "What have you got there?" he nodded to Neville's left hand, his eyes never leaving Neville's. 

    "Oh this!" Neville held the cage up. "This is Trevor, my toad. I've had him since he was a wee-" 

    "May I see him?" 

    "Oh! Sure," Neville responded quickly, handing his pet over. 

    "I don't really like to keep him locked up, but with all the hustle today, I wanted him to be safe." 

    "Oh, is that so?" Neville could only nod back. The boy was examining Trevor much the same as he had Neville, earlier. 

    "Oh, don't touch that, that's his door." 

    "Hmm... Oops." With that, the cage door slid open and out hopped Trevor, high-strung from the noises and new scents. 

    "Trevor!" Neville cried, as he leaped from his seat. An almost imperceptible nod from the boy and the two other forgotten members of the compartment stood up. It was then that Neville realized how big they actually _were_. 

    "Please don't leave quite yet," said one, and Neville watched hopelessly as Trevor bounded out the open door. A few seconds later and they were sitting again, but it was too late. Neville stared, bewildered, at the boy, leaning back in the bench with his arms crossed, and at his assistants, smugly grinning, before he stood and ran from the compartment, tear tracks already running down his cheeks, his beloved Trevor's cage forgotten.  


~*^*~  


    "Thank you, Professor, for making sure I had the correct books for the coming semester. I'm quite new to this all, you know, being muggle-born," came a distinctive girl's voice. Neville half-saw her turning from the teacher's section a few feet down the corridor. _Please don't let her see me_, he begged as he stumbled down the hallways. O_r if she does, please don't let her care._

    "Wait! Stop!" The commanding voice again. "Is something the matter?" And barely two doors down. _Not fast enough_. Neville turned to face the inevitable. The girl gasped, "Something is wrong! You're crying!" Neville wondered if she could have spoken more loudly.

    "Matter?" he tried to reply, but only a sob came out. 

    "Oh, you poor thing. What's wrong?" 

    Neville managed to force out the next few words, "Trevor... gone." 

    "Trevor?" The girl was confused now. "Is Trevor a relative? Sibling?" 

    Neville shook his head, but it was a while before he could stop hyperventilating long enough to continue. "Toad," he coughed out.

    "Oh!" The girl understood. "You must mean your pet for Hogwarts. Yes, I recall that student are allowed to bring either an owl, a cat, or a toad. Well, he's lost you say?" The girl spared him a sympathetic glance. "Don't worry. I'll look around." With that, she turned and began poking her head into the compartments. 

    Neville's heart melted.  


~*^*~  


_Oh you may not think I'm pretty,_

    Neville was even more nervous than he had been on the train, if that was possible. 

_But don't judge on what you see,_

    What if the Sorting Hat rejected him? 

_I'll eat myself if you can find_

    What if the Sorting Hat revealed that his acceptance letter was all a blunder? 

_A smarter hat than me._

    Or worse, someone's idea of a joke? 

_You can keep your bowlers black,_

    Simply to humiliate him in front of the entire school of Hogwarts. 

_Your top hats sleek and tall,_

    His parents' school. 

_For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat_

    He could see them laughing right now. 

_And I can cap them all_

    The students. 

_There's nothing hidden in your head_

    The professors. 

_The Sorting Hat can't see,_

    Even the Hogwarts ghosts. 

_So try me on and I will tell you_

    Another thought struck him. 

_Where you ought to be._

    What if it wasn't a joke? 

_You might belong in Gryffindor,_

    And he was to be sorted. 

_Where dwell the brave at heart,_

    Where did he belong? 

_Their daring, nerve and chivalry_

    Surely not Gryffindor. 

_Set Gryffindors apart;_

    Neville had never done a brave deed in his life. 

_You might belong in Hufflepfuff,_

    Hufflepuff? 

_Where they are just and loyal,_

    His nature wasn't contrary to the house. 

_Those patient Hufflepuffs are true_

    Although Hufflepuffs were rather boring. 

_And unafraid of toil;_

    Neville decided he rather liked boring. 

_Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

    A snort. 

_If you've a ready mind,_

    Ready mind? 

_Where those of wit and learning,_

    His mind barely functioned as it was. 

_Will always find their kind;_

    With his sort of sorry attempts, Neville would be laughed out of the house in no time. 

_Or perhaps in Slytherin_

    The hopelessness of the situation became clear. 

_You'll make your real friends,_

    What if Slytherin was the only house into which he fit? 

_Those cunning folk use any means_

    Even worse than being rejected! 

_To achieve their ends._

    No, he couldn't be a Slytherin. 

_So put me on! Don't be afraid!_

    Neville didn't fit into any houses. 

_And don't get in a flap!_

    What would the hat do? 

_You're in safe hands (though I have none)_

    What if he couldn't be sorted? 

_For I'm a Thinking Cap!_  
  
  
    A few applauses and mere seconds later... 

    "LONGBOTTOM, NEVILLE!" 

    Remember to breathe, Neville stepped up to the platform, taking the hat gingerly from the chair. Another deep breath and it was atop his head. It was _in_ his head. Speaking to him. No one else seemed to hear. 

    "You thought I'd sort you into Slytherin? Dear boy, I'm afraid you haven't got a trace of Slytherin in you. 

    "You're right about Ravenclaw, of course. Not exactly your type, eh? 

    "Hufflepuff you say? Oh there's no doubt; you'd make a fine one. 

    "What makes you think Gryffindor's out of the question?" 

    For the first time, Neville ventured a thought at the hat, "Well, I'm not very brave, you see." 

    "Then what are you doing here?" 

    "But I'm terrified right now!" Neville protested. 

    "Exactly," the hat replied. 

    "But I don't -" 

    "GRYFFINDOR" 

    In a daze, Neville stood up and began walking toward what he thought was the Gryffindor table; at least, that's where the loudest cheering was coming from - 

    Wait. Cheering? For _him_? But now there was something else mixed in. Laughter? But why? Had he done something wrong? 

    "Longbottom!" came McGonagell's stern voice. 

    Neville whipped his head around. 

    "The hat...?" she said gently.   


~*^*~  


    Only the pale moonlight streaming through the canopy of trees. Still, it was enough to illuminate the face of the monster a few feet away. Neville was simply caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. This was between Hermione and the Dark Lord... and Harry. 

    The monster would kill her. Yet, Hermione seemed unafraid. Didn't she see Him? The way He was bringing his wand to point toward her? 

    A flood of memories. Hermione on the train, the first day of school. 

    _"Don't worry, I'll look around."_

    His beloved Trevor. He would never have made it through his first year without the little squirt. His comfort, his _true_ reminder of home. Neville might not have seen Trevor again if it hadn't been for Hermione. True, his childhood friend had finally been laid to rest last year... More memories... 

    Sobbing on the floor in front of the common room fireplace, the warm fire long since burnt out. Trevor's cold body lying still in his hands. Then the portrait hole creaking open, Hermione returning from a late night (forbidden) library trip. Arms holding him. Contact from another human being. A rarity - his parents, normally unmoving, might react violently to a touch from their son. Or they might not react at all, which would be worse. And his grandmother wan't the type. Yet she stayed there all night, despite the transfigurations test the next day, her arms wrapped around Neville while all he could do was cry, although not just for Trevor anymore. He hadn't deserved that at all. 

    Other things, small things. Nevertheless, he was still undeserving. Help with a last minute homework assignment. A friend to fill the neighboring empty seat in the library. 

    More memories now, but not of Hermione anymore. Games of Wizard Chess. A returned Remembrall. Visits to the hospital wing as he lay sick with fever. Snide remarks to Snape after a particularly hard day in Potions. Sure, they lost house points, but it felt so good to know that someone cared. A well placed punch to Malfoy. Again, lost points, but still... 

    He owed them all so much. 

    Harry and Ron would miss Hermione terribly. The Dark Lord was right; Harry wouldn't be able to go on without her. Neville began contemplating the fate of the world, but then he realized he wasn't _that_ heroic. 

    Neville noticed with horror that already His lips were moving, forming the dreaded words. Neville moved forward. He wasn't going to make it in time; he had spent too long contemplating his own cowardliness. 

    He could still try. He willed himself onward. 

    The lips had stopped moving. Now they were forming a frown. What was He worried about? Hadn't He won? Hadn't Neville been too slow? 

    But then. 

    A gust of wind. 

    Green. 

    Echoes. 

    _"But I'm terrified."_

    Nothingness, save - 

_"Exactly" _

"Exactly" 

                                                    "Exactly" 


End file.
